The Mere Spectator….

One whole year has elapsed…things kept changing as time went…some ppl moved far… far away from heart …while some gained space and made their way into it…new faces…new places..new lifestyle.. new patterns..a change frm de earlier paradigm…life just seemed to have changed so much…moments of triumph..moments of happiness…moments of dejection…moments of melancholy and despair…glad times n sad times..joyous events..dolorous events..everythng just kept moving by..so hazy but still quite vivid…Nothing could be done..nonetheless but just be observed…




Many times the heart wished to walk up to it..take the extra step to walk the extra mile…but alas,in vain..everything appeared just a mere spectacle…It seemed full justice to the beautiful eyes …at least something went on well…even though not so perfect…the eyes kept doing their job of watching time as it passed by..things as they moved on..ppl as they moved in and out…The times when heart seemed to wake up ..nd live..the eyes dint seem to want to take a look at the happineng of events…Filled by utter darkness the heart went back to sleep many a times…funny though that’s how life has been in the last few months rather the last one year..things kept happing…many things kept happnening ..but no clue wt though was actually happening …As the time went on …life moved on…and I was but a mere spectator….

A mere spectator ..who saw the happy faces overjoyed…surrounded by a few sad faces to whom yet again the happiness of others seemed but a mere spectacle…
A mere spectator who wanted to make it to the zenith ..transcending .rising .but failed to even make a start to d journey that seemed never-ending….yet there seemed to be no dearth of vistas..filled with plethora of ideas..still remaining a spectator to the passing times…
Sometimes its just fate …that rules… sometimes its ok to accept and take a break…and remain as a mere spectator ..…

To my Mom...

Another year Gone...
All the four seasons have come and gone..
Many things have changed..
And so has the life moved..
Many people have come in.
Many have left ..
Many memories gone past ..
Some sad .. some glad..
Many words exchanged..
Some sweet... some  not ..
Many doings done..
Some right.. some wrong ..

Another year gone..
All the four seasons have come and gone..

Another year gone..
6ut something  is  still strong ..

Many things have changed..
6ut for her, who has never changed..
Many have come and gone..
6ut for her, who  has always 6orne..
Many memories gone past..
6ut with her, memories alwaz seemd to last..
Many words exchanged..
6ut wid her, nothing ever changed..
Many doings done..
6ut she would nvr care fr that which was not done..

  Another year gone..
6ut somethin is still strong...

That something is nthn 6ut the love, care n affection from my mom that i first saw and felt .. From dat time till date..nthn has changed dem...
On ths mothers day , i am v glad to 6e glad to have gladly experienced d warmth in you presence..

Love u so much mom.. 

When U Fail...

When you come across Failure....

Facing a failure is never easy...And the bigger part being getting over it. But since life has to move on it should..But still at times when the mind is very clear about facts..the heart doesnt seem to register the mind talks..But yes one has to face it and face it alone.. :)..







When u fail..
Its never easy to face..
Its never easy to cross
Its never easy to fight
Its never easy to hold tight
Its never easy to not cry
Its never easy to make the wounds dry


But When you fail...
U need to make yourself light
U need to make yourself bright
U need to learn to hope
U need to learn to find ur new scope
U need to learn to smile
U need to give way to new life



When u fail.
U lose all the confidence u had built up once
U lose all the strength that was  yours once
U lose all d faith u had in ur abilities..
U lose all the trust dat was you held on
U lose all the interst you may have otherwise had..
U lose all of it once again..


But When you fail...
U learn that its not always your day
U learn that may be its always never your day
U learn that your best effort is not enough
U learn that u are not always good enough
U learn that sometimes you just have to give way
U learn that sometimes you travelled the wrong way..

When u fail..
U fail to fulfil the expections
U fail to achieve your aspirations
U fail to give life to ur dreams..
U fail to reach your destination
U fail to see it as just a passing cloud
U fail to overlook it as a stepping stone

But When you fail...
U have to rise once again
U have to get ready to pounce  again
U have to build your dream again
U have to set your goals again
U have to put yourself again
U have to trust your self again

What is Love

WHat is love??

What is Love...
Is it when you cry and someone cries with you..
Or
Is it when u laugh and someone laughs with you ...

Is it when u would sit beside someone silently for hours
Or  ...
Is it when u could talk n talk with someone for hours...

Wat is love...
Is it when someone offers you their food acknowledging your hunger 6ut not theirs
Or
Is it when someone snatches your food....just to keep u company..

Is it when someone would laugh at all ur jokes..even toh it was your foolishness dat was more funny
Or
Is it when some one wouldd make you laugh despite not 6eing a joker at all...

Wat is love ..
Is it when you wear the 6est shirt in the wadro6e just to impress someone..
Or
Is it when you wear the same t-shirt over and over again coz its their favourite

Is it when u give up something coz someone asked you  to
Or
Is it when some one starts to do something just for you ...


Wat is Love..
Is it when u would sit and cry ...cry the whole night..
Or
Is it when u would laugh ...laugh throughout the day thinking of the times you cried..

Is it when u would not take one step ahead coz someone is so tired..
Or
Is it when u would walk miles and miles just fr someone's smile...

What is love...
Is it when someone shouts at you and you dont say anything 6ack..
Or
Is it wen u shout at someone  and that  someone just smiles 6ack..

Is it wen  u commit de unforgiva6le crime and someone still frgives u ..
Or
Is it when u would do anything in this world for someone even if others wont forgive  you ..


What is Love???
Is this Love??


Love is 6ut all these feelings u feel fr someone..sometimes..justified ..sometimes not..
Love is dat 6onding u wud alwz feel no matter wt ...Love is dat special reason why u wud cherish all d fights and all d gud times u spent wid the person..To love is d law of nature..I dedicate this poem to all my friends whom i love nd who hv loved me nd made me understand d 6liss of love...:)

   

A mix of emotions...

Missing sumone can 6e one of the 6st feelings if after all de wait u meet dem,..6ut wat if not...
sumtyms i wonder..y god does this 6ring ppl into life and take dem 6ack like hw he 6rought dem...
its 6een more dan a couple of days that i have terri6ly 6een missing ppl..to make it worse i am almost alone out here in dis city of raipur..and 6loddy damn my project is getting over..around 20 days nw..my project has only 6een everythn fr me..no food..sleep..no hanging out ..just just sincerly doing project..in midst dos memories come in and go out to worsen my frustration..if i thnk to sit and cry..i am made aware dat ...no tym fr all dat..

This project of mine has only showered me wid losses...could spend de quality time i wanted to spend wid dos ppl who mattered a lot to me..made my colg life so wonderful..dat i would like to keep all dos moments safe wid me..

I couldn spend prper tym wid my parents and sis at raipur wen de came here

Missed de long yearned trip to jamshedpur..(XLRI campus..)

And still sitting and trying to regret y y i took dis descision...realising i do not have tym even fr dat..

God u arent at all fair..u spoiled all my plans of enjoying my days at raipur..after de last sem exams..

Again 6laming god is so stupid, it was a decision i took wen all warned me against it..evn now all my seniors who gt to kno who my project guide was..y dat descission...yet i have nothn more to say dat it was mine and solely my dicision, and not evn dat i dint have any option..i could have got any proff as my giude , 6ut i wanted to chose him as my guide,..de strictest..de most 6usiest...and i do not actually regret it..its just my frustration dat i am stuck up missing ppl plus not getting to go hme...

Still hoping fr all de pain der would 6e a gain..

thats me signing off..hopefully my next post should 6e soon ..frm home..

so i take this opportunity to say a good 6ye to de soil of raipur
A thnx and miss u to all my lovely frenz frm here...


....so gud 6ye..its tym..four years flew away so fast..

Pensieve...

"There it is Finally!!yea could say finally after a long long journey of around..lemee see..24 hours.Actually i was not expecting anythn more than a old platform wid few lights,.. i was happy to see so many ppl, lights and shops at the platform..'So after all this place doesn seem all dat 6ad..."

Well dat was dat my first day in the city named 'Raipur!!' well the question is, did i kno i was goin to fall in love wid dis place....??!!

Frankly speakin i dint kno den or even till last week, not till i found myself answering it so to a question put forwrd 6y my friend.
I realised i have grown so attatchd to de place..evn so much attatched dat i havn evn felt fr my home town Kochi..

Well askin ppl whch place is more happening ,..the o6vious answer is Kochi!!6ut i thnk i seem to luv raipur  6etter.

so dat night after i answered the questoin to my freind ..i wondered y is it dat raipur is so spcl???(to me")
could just find one answer..coz i explored de place myself...and also got de opportunity to do so..unlike at home fr everythn parents had to 6e reported off..

so yes raipur.
exploring places in rpr despite the heat rain or cold!! nothin has stopped me from doin dat..
there are many places whose memories are going to 6e strongly engraved. Also pausing  a second to think will these lovely moments ever return to my life??

well 'des' moments would never evr actually come again...
coz
1.These 4 years wer my first years of freedom from home.
2.Engg is not very highly stressful course atleast not in the first 2-3 yrs.(May it 6e jo6 or study from now on its gonna 6e really hectic)
3.i would never get all de ppl who re here wid me evr again..

atleast after de school life we knew dat most ppl would still reside der only..u could meet dem someday or the other..6ut nw dat certainity is gone..
I dunno hw many of de ppl i kno am i goin to meet again in life...

6ut the formost thng today i realise hw much i luv dis place...and every1 in my life in here..

in quest of happiness...

in quest of happiness i walked de long road...

on de way i met a lady..

dressed in pure white..
what radiance!!! ..like an angel!!..

she walked upto me..
gently touched me, patted me
and ..as if..
 all dat was not told was understood ..
she said:" listen child..
just walk on keep a smile and u ll be happy !!"
so i walked yet again ..

so i walked again..

smiling dis tym..
a swish of energy wiped over me..

dat i realised fr de first tym was wat ppl called "happiness"
i felt so lite..if i just tried flying i coud have!!
it was too good..
 de feeling of eternal bliss..
ans so i walked on...

i walked on..
dis tym i came across a man..
he seemed ??..am confused yet to describe..
he dint cum to me like de lady..
so i walkd wid my smile to him...
he dint seem to be happy ..
so i told him.."smile nd be happy.."
he looked smirkingly at me...
told me "hey u tiny tot..wt do u thnk??
smiling is just a mask..smiling nvr can lead you to ultimate happines..!!"
bewildered by de rude remark, i walked..

i walked..

no smile dis tym..
.hoping to see my angel once again..

dat was just a hope..
dint find her...so walked on..
i tried to smile but in vain..
.couldn feel it again..

as i continued my journey ..
.i met a gal dis tym..
she came jumping to me..
caught hold of my hand..
told me to smile and smiled along wid me...
dis tym i again felt de same gush of energy
yet different in a way...
i felt lik der was a meaning to my happiness..
sum1 to rejoice in my joy...
nw i tot i understood what he said.,,

"sum1 to rejoice in ur joy
dats de way to hapiness.."i learnt dat..
happy enuf i walked on..
i walked on..
the gal had left me..
but i knew wat i needed...

i went back in search of de man..
der he was standing all alone...
nw i realised wht his look had meant ..
lonesomeness..
i went upto him..
caught hold of him
and told..him..
"mite be u wer rite.!!
.i smiled all alone i cudn find happiness.."
"but sir try dis
smile plz..and smile wid me..."
he looked at me...
dis tym he was bewildered..
he said.."hey lil one..thnx indeed..!!"

Sumtimes der are times when u kno u re 6ound to 6e happy...6ut somewr happines dissapears..

though technically you have achieved sumthn you hav really wanted..logically u have to 6e happy..
y does dat happen so..sumthn really wished achived,y cant happpiness come in wid dat ??was it cos u nevr wanted it or coz was it expectd or coz u dont find a reason to be happy ..its a very clear fact dat happiness is wat every human wants(der may be exception,though i dont belive der mite be)


we used to be happy wen we wer innocent ..dat is esp wen we wer children..we could just smile and be hppy..
slowly as we grow up..dat doesn seem sufficient...nw wht i have realised so far is dat u cant be happy unless u have sum1 to rejoice wid u !!:)...still..the journey is long are der miles and miles to go befr i find dat..the ultimate truth abt happiness..:P